This might get a little preachy but bare with me, I think I’m going somewhere with this. One of the things we collectively seem to constantly worry about is weight. We’re obsessed with looking like hyperrealistic images, that are in some way better. Surely as long as you’re not putting yourself at health risks, you’re doing great. Obviously eat well, healthily and don’t overindulge in junk food should be the only diets we have to sign up to.

A lot of people seem to be obsessed with looking like starved actors or supermodels. In all honesty men – I’m appointing myself an official spokesman for men worldwide – don’t want to hug a bag of bones. If they are looking for something closer to those airbrushed images then they’re clearly too superficial and have other problems that aren’t worth your time.

I’ll stop now because I can’t put together a convincing argument but if I hear someone tell me they’re fat when they’re clearly not, I’ll personally shove a donut down their throat. Eep… that sounded a bit menacing, maybe I’ll just offer them some.

I was put in a very awkward situation tonight.

We went to see Stewart Lee at the Hall for Cornwall and as expected he was on top form. The warm-up act however, got a mixed reaction to say the least. The fantastically German, Henning Wehn provided a surprising support act. I’ve only known him from Fighting Talk and was expecting someone else to turn up so it was a pleasant surprise.

He naturally got onto the topic of football and was building towards a tongue-in-cheek joke surrounding how the game, that used to be working class, is now out of the price range of the working class. He was building towards something before he mentioned the McCann story. Now I happened to be sitting on the row with two people, either side of me, who weren’t too pleased and didn’t understand that he was obviously building up to something. They started heckling him and he was visibly taken back by it. Eventually a few more people joined in with the heckles culminating in ‘You’re losing the audience’.

Now that’s not just any heckle, that essentially halts the whole gig. You can’t really come back with many retorts to that. To be fair he didn’t have any retorts to the original heckles and didn’t seem like he knew what to do. He froze up, never really finished that story and fumbled around with some props but he never got to finish what was, up until that point, a good set. It just goes to show how one line, one joke can be taken the wrong way and totally destroy any rapport with the audience.

I felt bad and talked to him afterwards and bought a DVD that he signed. So it worked out alright in the end. Still…

Tough Crowd

It’s the one day that people remember that pancakes taste nice, so I guess I should blog about that.

Bacon and maple syrup pancakes aren’t as bad as they sound, honest. I know we only have a few hours left but you should give it ago. Actually screw that, you can eat pancakes on any other day as well, I don’t think there’s a law against it.

Why not put bacon and maple syrup in that pancake you’ll make tomorrow?

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be of those I can’t be bothered posts, I would never do one of those. It’s just that after the rush that was our Nerv iPhone application – that we presented last Friday to a seemingly great response – it’s nice to get some time off. Normally between projects we get a good week off after the final deadline day rush, it’s quite lethargic.

However because this project’s deadline was at the end of the week we only had this weekend off before moving onto the next one. Actually I don’t mind that so much as it’s made me appreciate this weekend. Not that I’ve done anything interesting except for failing to go surfing, receive Stewart Lee tickets in the post, getting tipsy on way too much wine for a Sunday morning and making some damn good saves at football.

Oh, and Football Manager… but let’s not talk about that.

As per usual I didn’t know what to post about until I had a conversation. So rather than come up with something poignant or thoughtful I’m just going to relay a few facts.

The conversation basically had a few of us discussing celebrities we’ve met. While I don’t have anyone who has actually done something worthy of instant recognition – I once met Wolf and Falcon from Gladiators.

Except for that I haven’t really met anyone that famous. Well except for that time that Gus Poyet winked at me in the Majeski Stadium’s bar before a pre-season match.